The Definition Of 'Cliche'
by do you fear god
Summary: I tried to make a fic that's riddled with cliches, to the point where the only original things are the character names, which aren't really that original. Oh boy am I going to have fun writing this. My work ethic dissapeared in 1986, so this may take a bit.
1. Allegiances

**A/N: The blandest, most useless characters ever are your friends, but these guys come second.**

 **A/N 2: I honestly can't tell how bad these guys are, so could someone make an index for me? No? Alright.**

 **King A/N The Third of Denmark** **: wow good fur 10/10**

 **A/N eight minus eight: wow good allegiances entirely 364394/1393 help**

 **IC A/N? Not sure what to call this, it's basically me taking the personality of someone who would write this without it being a trollfic: The other clans don't matter yet so I'll add them when they do**

 **-Allegiances-**

 **ThunderClan:**

 **Leader: Silverstar: Blue eyed tom who is completely silver.**

 **Deputy: Yellowtail: Golden tom with a tail, that, while having _some_ gold, is more or less white. Ironic name, eh? Green eyes.**

 **Medicine Cat: Aspenshade: Dark brown cat with lighter brown paws and a golden-ish underbelly. Green eyes also.**

 **Warriors:**

 **Hazeclaw: Golden she-cat with a brown tabby pattern, and a white underbelly. Blue eyes.**

 **Bluedash: Silver she-cat with an blue-er silver underbelly. Hazel eyes.**

 **Clawleg: Rusty brown tom** **with a white tabby pattern and a single-colour dark brown underbelly. Hazel eyes.**

 **

Appleleaf: Red, kinda fox-red, she-cat with white paws and a long white stripe down her back. Green eyes.

Bushclaw: Dark brown furred tom which is almost grey, with a dark grey underbelly and one dark grey paw. Green eyes.

Barkfur: Dusty brown tom with one white paw and a very, very bushy tail. Brown eyes. _Apprentice, Redpaw_

Apprentices:

Redpaw: Dark red tom, white underbelly, white tipped tail. Blue eyes.

Queens:

Acornfur: Mother of Whitekit. Brown eyes.

Elders:

None.

**


	2. Prologue

**A/N: Be warned: This is an unhealthy dose of cliche. Please continue with a hazmat suit.**

 **A/N 2: This is also an unhealthy dose of of bad writing. Continue only after your brain has completely developed.**

 **A/N III: Could be considered a Starkit's Prophecy remake.**

Prologue

It was a dark night, with trees scattered around a clearing. There were cats gathering, looking into a small pool.

"There is a prophecy!" A cat shouted from the clearing. "The wind will blow away the shadow, and havoc will reign. The white will restore the wind and shadow and all horrible will end."

"There is a second prophecy!" Shouted a second cat, hiding behind the first. "Gold will destroy what silver has done, and the red will rise and the white will see it all."

"A... Third?" Quietly meowed a cat in the back. "White will become what red failed to, and flowers will aide what red has wrought."

"We will tell Aspenshade immediately." Meowed the first cat after a pause, complete with murmurs.

 **A/N: I expect this to be complete by tomorrow, being cliches easy to write.**

 **(The joke is that tomorrow, it will still say this, and then the story finishing is postponed until the day after that, then the day after that, then the day after that till it finishes)**


	3. One

**Disclaimer: I definitely do own Warriors, as you can see at the start of every Warriors book there is a little oneofthecrow-thereigo mark.**

 **Disclaimer 2: You don't actually have to put the "Warriors is copyright Erin Hunter" disclaimer. This is a fanfiction site.**

 **A/N: I will be making the allegiances next.**

Chapter One

SM to XL

"Hee-hee-what?" Sputtered an extremely confused Whitekit, waking up in a daze.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wa-" Shouted Acornfur, his mother[1, at him, desperate to wake him up.

"I got it, I got it... Why can't I just nap away my troubles?" He was extremely tired[2].

"Because it's your ceremony. Y'know. That." Acornfur flicked her tail away from Whitekit.

"Oh...HURRAY! It's my ceremony yea-" Whitekit's ears flicked back as he was interrupted.

"Don't get too excited. It's very formal." Interjected Acornfur, with an expression of both pride and neutrality.

Whitekit dashed outside, jumping around. "It- it- whatever! Just stay within 6 fox-lengths of the nursery!" Acornfur shouted to the running kit who was brimming with happiness.

"But... Oh, it doesn't star-" Whitekit replied.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a clan meeting!" Shouted a voice from the center of the camp.

"Nevermind!" Meowed the kit who had already resumed running.

Finally, acoetctop arrived, and Whitekit had arrived way earlier than anyone else.

"Today," called Silverstar, "We will be making a new apprentice." Whitekit was bouncing off the walls with extreme excitement already.

"Whitekit. Come here." He meowed with a very calm tone.

Whitekit ran up, as fast as possible.

"Whitekit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Whitepaw. Your mentor will be Appleberry. I hope Appleberry will pass down all she knows to you. And Appleberry, come here!"

Appleberry rose up and went up immediately.

"Appleberry, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You have received excellent training from Bluestrike, and you have shown yourself to be optimistic and fierce. You will be the mentor of Whitepaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Whitepaw."

Whitepaw nearly passed out from excitement. His head was starting to hurt from everything!

Whitepaw and Appleberry looked at each other intensely before touching noses.

"So," Whitepaw said. "How are you?"

They both laughed it off.

 **Jokes:**

 **1: And secret lover.**

 **2: From existing.**

 **A/N: Hey! How are you? By the way, you can MST this story! Not on, here, on AO3 or somewhere, but you can!**


	4. Two

**A/N: hmm**

 **A/N 2: Hmm**

 **A/N 3: HMM**

 **A/N IIII and/or IV: Using too many ellipsis since 1867.**

 **A/N 005: "Now _this_ is definitely the right guy for the job." Said no-one while talking about me writing actually good fanfiction.**

Chapter Two

Training the Great

The training hollow was a dark and dusty place, filled with moss and bugs[1]. Inside it, the[2] two cats we're focusing on were walking extremely slowly along.

"Ah, yes, alright, indeed, uh-huh, yea, help." Sputtered Appleleaf.

"Are you... Okay?" Responded Whitepaw, very worried.

"Yes. Yes. Possibly. How hard could this be? Very. Oh, boy. Oh, no." She had begun to collapse on the ground. "I... I... I guess... St-star-st. Start... W-wi... Fi-figh-fi-f"

"You don't sound okay. Also, were you going to say fighting?" Whitepaw's expression changed from visibly worried to visibly terrified.

"Ye-yes. Yes! Yes, yes, okay. Sta-s-st-star." The fox red she-cat looked like she would die in a few seconds.

"I... See. Get up now? Or are you just going to die there, with stress overtaking your whole body, and leaving me without a mentor." The tom's expression shifted back from visibly terrified to simply calm.

"Yeah," Finally meowed Appleleaf after getting up and shaking off some dust.. "You know how to guilt, eh?"

"Ok... Start, now?" Said Whitepaw.

"Ok, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, go!"[3]

Whitepaw lurched forward, springing optimally for the face.[4] Whitepaw let out a battle yowl as he struck blood. Appleleaf soon after raked her claws across Whitepaws face, adding more complexity to this ball of terror. Whitepaw managed to escape Appleleaf's grasp, but before he could attack, she leapt for him and hooked his paws, hindering mobility. After a short struggle, Whitepaw's paws broke free of Appleleaf's grasp, but he was still at prime attack point. Whitepaw scraped Appleleaf's chest, offering a distraction, before finally clawing her back enough to warrant surrender.

"Ok, ok, stop!" Meowed Appleleaf, still confused at whatever happened during the fight."Y-you... You could've killed me! Just kidding. Now, let's go hopefully not die, by letting the medicine cat treat our wounds. Wait, that purports my earlier sentence. Hmm..."

The two walked off, again, hopefully not dying.

 **Jokes:**

 **1\. Correction: Moss, dust, and the blood of the innocent.**

 **2\. Time travellers.**

 **3\. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, FIRE!**

 **4\. There were no survivors.**


	5. Three

**A/N: I'm using — in this chapter for pauses, not clarification, as I can't find a character that marks pauses in speech that aren't like semicolons _or_ commas, but join things together nonetheless. And semicolons are to join** **things together, not just to mark pauses, but not in this sense.**

 **A/N: Also, sorry for the really long wait! I rushed this to get it out before February.**

 **A/N 3: SPERMATOZOON**

Chapter Three

The Red Strikes[1]

The silky, cold, leaf-bare air boomed while snow came down. In the distance, a cat could barely be seen, standing next to a redder shape.

"Redpaw. Red—paw. It's been... Quite a while." Said figure one, Whitepaw."

"Ah! Whitepaw. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this." Replied figure two, Redpaw.

"What do you mean 'An opportunity'?" Said Whitepaw, backing away, muscles tense.

"I've been keeping an eye out. I'm looking for something to hold you back, something that will make you have to keep being an apprentice _after_ your six moons. Glorify and dramatise it enough and you're done. I'm ahead. This'll be the w

ay, I can feel it." Redpaw paced up and down, muscles also tense.

"Wha-"

Before Whitepaw could finish his sentence, Redpaw pounced. His claws struck Whitepaw's face immediately while Whitepaw tried to scramble away.

"You see-" Redpaw shot out, trying to keep Whitepaw under his grip."

Whitepaw raked his claws onto Redpaw's chest as they flipped over and Whitepaw started bleeding.

"If I word this correctly-" Redpaw's hind paws started to lose feeling. "I can tell people _you_ started the fight!"

"But I could just... Walk away." Whitepaw stopped for a moment.

"No you're not. Walk away and I'll kill ya'"

Redpaw flung himself at Whitepaw's face, and landed just in the snow behind it. Whitepaw turned over and bit Redpaw's hind paws, making him fall over. Whitepaw proceeded to scratch Redpaw's front paws to provide a distraction. Redpaw slowly got up, with a few scratches from Whitepaw, and tackled him! Whitepaw started biting at his nose, making it bleed.

"Agh! Ag-agh! A-agh-a-ag-agh!" Shouted Redpaw. "Okay! Okay! I surrender!"

Whitepaw got up. "Told you." And walked off.

 **Jokes:**

 **1: Sung by the Red Army Choir**


	6. Four

**A/N: I tried to make it as time-skippy as possible, did I do good enough without just saying "SIX MOONS LATER"?**

 **(btw i use british english so thats grammatically correct)**

 **A/N: I think this'll go on for around 20 more chapters, so buckle up! It's a long ride through cliche-town, and it KEEPS GROWING.**

 **A/N: This was also rushed. I'm sorry it's so short, I couldn't find a way to extend it even to Starkit's Prophecy chapter length, which is the length I'm trying to emulate.**

 **A/N: Please check out Rule Of Three at** w w w . fanfiction . net / forum / Rule-of-Three / 209581. **It's not very active, and that's why it needs members.**

Four

Another Ceremony

With six moons past, and Whitepaw trained, and Appleleaf brutally beaten to death, it is yet again time for a ceremony. And no, it's not a celebration of Appleleaf's death, complete with singing 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead...'.[1] It's, of course, Whitepaw's warrior ceremony!

Whitepaw got up from the sticks and moss and looked at the bright day. His feet shuffled around in the mud before he stepped out.

"All cats who are old enough to catch their own prey come for a clan meeting!" Yowled Silverstar.

Whitepaw ran up first, desperate.

"Today, we are making a new warrior. Guess _who_." Said Silverstar, directly eyeing Whitepaw.

"Whitepaw, come up here." He soon added. "I, Silverstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Whitepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I... Do." Whitepaw said, shaken at what it meant for him.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Whitepaw, from this moment on you will be known as Whitepool. StarClan honours your curiosity and bravery, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan." Silverstar looked at Whitepool in silence.

Whitepool stepped down and looked around. He was a warrior. A warrior. He saw Redberry, looking bitter about his defeat; he saw Aspenshade looking tired; he saw Appleleaf looking dead... And himself, looking proud.

 **No jokes. I'm tired.**

 **OK, one. 1: That happened last week.**


End file.
